Recently I received an e-mail that really caught my eye. This unsolicited mail beckoned me and dangled the prospect of obtaining a university degree. It further pointed out that I could have great hopes and expectations of a "prosperous future, money earning power, and admiration of all." Not a bad message to receive for a retired columnist.

I was assured my degree would originate from a "prestigious non-accredited university" and would be conferred upon me based on my present knowledge and past life experience. I wouldn't be presumptuous or egotistical to vouch for my present knowledge, but after 60+ years, I certainly had some life experience.

I was guaranteed "no required tests, classes, books, or interviews." It was beginning to sound better and better to this senior citizen.

I could obtain a Bachelors, Masters, or Doctorate (PhD) in any field of my choice. Again, I was assured "No one is turned down."

"Wow, yesterday I wasn't sure I could even spell collage - I mean college - and now, within a few days, I could be referred to as Dr. Shackles. All I had to do was make one simple call - because registrars were available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including Sunday and holidays. These people in academia, I thought, are really quite dedicated - working Sundays and holidays.

I quickly dialed the Texas number (713 area code). Just thinking about my future doctorate made me exercise my potential.

Anxiously I called and received a voice message instructing me to leave my name, phone number - with area code. Less than 24 hours later I received a call from a Ms. Nicole Young, the registrar. She said she had to ask me a few questions, that I would be obliged, "to answer truthfully."

Of course I would be truthful. And she quite obviously took me at my word.

After answering the questions, that was that. I was in. I could now be a college grad - forever.

My degrees would be awarded from Harrington University, London, England. It doesn't get much better than this, I thought.

All my friends and business associates received their degrees state-side from, NYU, Penn State, Notre Dame, etc. Sure, some may have taken an exchange course or two overseas, but I venture to say, I would be the first in my circle with a degree from a prestigious non accredited international university.

Ms. Young was quick to point out that the cost for an education to receive a BS or MA at mainstream universities, could no doubt cost in excess of $50,000.

However from Harrington University, for only $1,400, a BS along with an additional $900 for a MA, sounded like a bargain.

And, as if that weren't enough of an incentive, if I signed up immediately, I was eligible for a $500 discount.

After asking her to forward me additional information and confirmation, Ms. Young e- mailed me with the final figure - $1,410. For this amount, I would receive both my BS and MA degrees in Public Relations. My degrees would be issued with honors, transcripts provided, letters of recommendation from professors would be written, and a laminated miniature replica of my degree would be provided, just in case I wanted to carry it in my wallet.

Oh yes, the gold leafed parchment degree was styled after the one used at UCLA. I was further assured that I would receive all A's and B's in my courses.

Apparently, English professors would be able to work through my New York accent.

A letter confirming the above, stated "Furthermore, and most importantly, you will receive unlimited support where we verify your credentials to prospective employers or anybody else who inquires." I told Ms. Young that $1,400 was a lot of money and that I would have to think about it.

A day or so later I called her at the personal telephone number she had given me with an Ohio (513 area code). Her voice mail advised she would call me back.

Another registrar, a Mr. Lee Karol promptly returned my call telling me that Ms. Young was out ill and would not be returning (can't say if this is temporary or permanent). We went over the entire scenario again. I asked for some brochures or information about the university. Mr. Karo told me that Harrington University keeps a "very low profile" because they do not want many employers to be able to say that know this University advertises and is a diploma mill. In this way, the bearer of the Harrington degrees could walk confidently into any place of employment knowing that they wouldn't be perceived as having their degrees from anything other than a major University.

One thing remained - I was concerned about the legality, but was reassured by Mr. Karo that "all universities give out degrees - "Why" he said "Mike Tyson has a doctorate and he can hardly read." I said the cost seemed to be the major hurdle at this point. Something could be worked out. $1,400 less $500 for an immediate sign-up plus a small charge of $60. A second degree would cost another $450 - total $1,410. However, if my associate was interested, they would make an even better offer - $960 each - two diplomas for me and two for my associate. We were now getting down to the nitty gritty.

An easy payment schedule was also available. Not through the university but through a International QuickPay merchant international account of Four Corners, through Western Union. When I expressed concern as to whether I would actually get what was promised,

Mr. Karo said "That is a very good question." He went on to tell me that Western Union was very selective in providing a merchant account - and that Western Union took this seriously when it provided the University with the account only after "intense scrutiny." Well, folks, I checked with Western Union and as of Thursday, November 4, 1999 they were investigating a complaint on this account.

So, if I wanted to issue a check, I was requested to make out the check to Wheelie International, the parent company, and mail it to the University of Palmers Green in London, England. I wondered at this point, what happened to Harrington University.

This was something I would discuss with the registrar. I did, and found out that Palmers Green and Harrington were sister universities.

While Mr. Karo didn't have any brochures or advertisement material, he was kind enough to send me a sample transcript. I would, of course, be able to have my degrees pre-dated to a date of my choice.

I wish I could share with you that I received my degrees from Harrington, but alas, $960 is a high price to pay for a fraudulent degree. Why would anyone be proud of something they did not earn? Just as an aside, I recently had a tooth extracted and to replace the tooth I would have to spend $1,800. So I started thinking - $960 for two phony degrees or $1,800 for a false tooth - go figure.

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