Before I go any further, let’s try to get the derivation of El Nino understood. A friend of mine in discussing this El Nino phenomenon, told me that the word meant "The Christ Child." I told him, in no uncertain terms that this was wrong, wrong, wrong that the literal translation was "little boy." He ridiculed my efforts at challenging him and in an obvious attitude of superiority, said I would be offering an apology to him sometime in the near future.

Later, my editor further discounted the aforementioned explanation giving me a detailed explication handed down to him from his meteorology professor at Penn State many, many moons ago - - something about tides, fronts, weather conditions appearing during the Christmas season.

Guess what folks, here’s the real story according to the gospel of the Microsoft Dictionary.

El Nino - A warming of the ocean surface off the western coast of South America that occurs every four to 12 years when upwelling of cold, nutrient-rich water does not occur. It causes plankton and fish to die and affects weather over much of the Pacific Ocean. [American Spanish, from Spanish, the Christ child from the association between the onset of the warming and Christmastide].

First, I ate a little crow (very little) and gave a faint half-hearted apology to my friend because another friend of mine who teaches Spanish in Ohio advised me that el nino literally means little child. However, El Nino (capitalized), translates to "The Christ Child." Basically, the entire definition was a wash from the wording itself to the reasons surrounding the time of year. Of course, I will go on record and state that my editor was also quasi right. Hey, you don’t argue with an editor or a Penn State meteorology professor.

Having said all that, why are we blaming everything on this little boy or the Christ Child, if you prefer? It’s one thing saying El Nino is responsible for the mudslides, floods, tornadoes, earthquakes, wind, snow, sleet, rain, hail, tides, and other weather occurrences. However, I hear people blaming just about everything on El Nino.

The other day a professional "bug man" said that here in Florida we can anticipate an infestation of termites because of El Nino. A friend of mine said she suffered from severe headaches and was quite sure it was from the barometric pressures of El Nino. I feel confident that President’s Clinton’s problems can also be traced back to El Nino, as can the trials, tribulations, and problems plaguing Pompano Beach.

El Nino is considered terminal and is dying a very slow death. From all accounts, HE should be leaving us sometime in March. But for those of us who need a whipping post or an excuse for our actions, have faith — La Nina is upon us.

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