One evening I was visiting a neighbor who has two beautiful Eclectus Parrots. Really beautiful birds. One bird let out an ear piercing squawk just as we were about to eat. My neighbor looked at the bird and said "I think it’s time for another therapy session."

Now I know we humans are pretty open when it comes to our mental health these days. But for the life of me I couldn’t understand why my neighbor would need the services of a therapist just because the damn bird squawked.

Well, folks, it turned out she meant a therapy session for the bird. I kid you not. We all started to talk about this and kind of giggled and said "yeah, right!" It turns out she wasn’t kidding. She was dead serious.

I was so fascinated that I decided to call this "bird therapist" known as Aunt Jeni. I called and must tell you I expected to talk with some ditz. Far from it folks. It turns out that Aunt Jeni is Jenifer Dermer, Avian Behavior Consultant, B.S., Psychology. Oh yes, she minored in Special Education. Aunt Jeni is a firm advocate of action/reward therapy and feels strongly that birds must earn their freedom. According to Aunt Jeni some birds live for sixty or ninety years and have the brain of a two or three year old child. I know all this because she sent me a three page letter, pages and pages of research information, and lots of photos.

If your bird squawks incessantly, plucks, or bites, you can be sure Aunt Jeni feels there is an underlying problem — ergo a solution as well. It was made clear that improper bird behavior is probably a manifestation of improper training, conditioning, or environmental stimulus. While she does do telephone counseling, most of the time Aunt Jeni prefers to see the bird, and their owners, in the bird’s environment. Here she can observe the interaction of the bird and the family in what is now the bird’s habitat. There are times, unruly or difficult behavioral problems may necessitate "time out." Here the bird is placed in a darkened area for a prescribed time, not unlike the time out for a two or three year old child.

Aunt Jeni isn’t the only one for the birds -- the Internet provides a plethora of information when it comes to bird behavior modification. I bet you weren’t aware there is Behavior Modification Kit available for only $68.08 plus shipping and handling. Of course, the kit comes with specially designed toys, customized literature packet, natural puzzle foods, and twenty four hour technical support.

One on one bird therapy sessions, however, are not cheap. Albeit, it is a little less expensive than human psychoanalysis, but hey, I guess it’s worth it if you have a neurotic bird who practically takes your finger off more often than not. "They" (the experts) say "A well adjusted bird is a happy bird and a happy bird makes for pleasant surroundings for the bird and its owner." Okay, so what’s the bottom line. Aunt Jeni’s bird house calls run 35 cents per mile, and a minimum two hour consult at $35 per hour. Doing some simple calculations — a 30 mile round trip at 35 cents a mile comes to $10.50 plus $70 for the consult.

Group rates are also available as are special classes where you can learn how to "understand, bathe, play with and most importantly teach that baby bird living in your home." This particular four week session would cost you $100. Oh yes, Aunt Jeni also has her own book at $19.95 (an autographed copy runs $5.00 more. Available are activity books, and hand drawn Hyacinth Macaw T-shirts. Of course, you guessed it, a portion of the profits go to benefit animals.

Aunt Jeni is so into the health, safety, and well being of birds that she publishes a four page monthly newsletter. "The Birdcall a.k.a. Hey, Birdbrain!" the title of her "monthly newsletter for the intelligent parrot owner" is chock full of behavioral information — exercises, behavior modification, tips on having a happy bird, bonding,

This avian behavior consultant and her flock of exotic birds visit shut ins, nursing homes, and schools talking about bird abuse and neglect (yes, bird abuse), the care and psychology of birds, and just about everything you wanted to know about birds but didn’t know who to ask. "My birds are together all the time — they are a flock, and by necessity, I am the flock leader" says this bird fancier.

Hey, you want to come to my house? I’ve got a cat who shakes hands. If you look closely you may even see a few fleas doing somersaults, backflips, and acrobatics on her — and I didn’t even train them.

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